Saturday, Nov. 18th, 2022; "Hindsight 20/20"

Saturday, Nov. 18th, 2022; “Hindsight 20/20”

November 19, 2022

idiom

variants or 20/20 hindsight

: the full knowledge and complete understanding that one has about an event only after it has happened.

I don’t have regrets. Except one, which I’m about to get into but even that’s not really a regret; I digress…

I don’t have regrets in the sense that I have enough confidence in myself (believe it or not lol) to know that I made the best decision I knew how to at that time that I felt was best for me with what knowledge & resources & experiences I had under my belt at that time.

Now, all that being said…

If I could go back in time and change anything, y’know, “if only I knew then what I know now”, I would’ve refused to go back to my Dad’s on the night/morning of December 21st, 2014 (I swear it was the 23rd but whatever) when the sheriff’s were done “interviewing” me. I wish I would’ve refused and then what would’ve happened is what eventually ended up happening but it would’ve kicked it into gear a lot fucking faster, and at an age where I would’ve had the most access to what abysmally under reaching , and woefully underfunded resources there are available**. I also think about what kind of statement that would’ve made to everyone involved but especially the police/detectives. Would they have fucking gave me the time of day then?

**For context: what ended up happening, and what i’m referring to being streamlined in the relevant paragraph is I went to a Cocoon house in Everett, WA briefly like not even one night I believe; Then I went to another Cocoon type house out in Monroe, WA by the fairgrounds. That didn’t last long, before there was no more houses or facilities or programs etc. in Snohomish County or Skagit/whatever tf county Monroe is in; So I make it out to King County, where it’s still an uphill battle but at least I’ve made it to a place that can give me the tools or help lead me to the path that will show me the way to helping myself. Not a whole too lot longer & I’d age out at 18 and have been trying to make some type of way or sense of everything since.